I See Grace...Do You??

January 15, 2012...OH NO!!!  I can even hear some of my parenting partners as I type...DK please do not talk about GRACE...I don't feel it, I cannot perceive it, I do not even know the definition, and now you are asking me to SEE IT???  The answer is YES!!!  Isn't it better to travel with a faithful warrior on this journey???  Well, to make progress we must activate our VISION...we MUST SEE the GRACE in our lives, in our cherubs no matter what!!!  Now, I think part of the problem is that we understand GRACE to be something perfect, serene, or out of our reach...BUT this is not the truth, and if we are going to become CONSCIOUS PARENTS...we must face these truths with none other than...GRACE! Most of us experience grace as we are driving to numerous Doctors, Specialists, and Therapists for a bit of hope, for an answer to part of our question.  As you are passing a snack, playing specific movies, or music just to keep peace in the car so you actually get to the appointment, GRACE COMES...we see our cherub smile, laugh with reckless abandon as the movie begins, or we find ourselves so grateful to see food all over our cherub's face...the face that used to not eat!!! We smile, whisper a thank you, or join in the laughter of celebrating life in progress!!  Can you join me yet???  Ok, how about when we are falling all over the place from sheer exhaustion as we have become DOERS...and there is NO REST as our cherub is hanging by his/her developmental rung on their ladder...WELL...here comes GRACE...somehow you pick yourself up, and you finish each day in more love with your child than you had ever imagined possible!!!  Someone passes you a COOL cup of water, and tells you what a GREAT parent you are...and you smile...and you see your child STRIVING, working, playing so hard to BE...and GRACE pours over you...FOR YOU MY FELLOW PARENT are doing what you have been called to do!!!  You breathe...and then it is a new day...bounding energy wakes you to play, or like me waking up my teen from the DEEPEST sleep ever in her life...singing her into engagement because I only want to give her grace, for her to know that I can SEE...her need, understand it, and MEET it!!!  GRACE FLOWS...from the deepest place when we SEE!!!  Parents are visionaries...think about it for a moment...did you EVER think you would KNOW this much about specific diagnoses, educational needs, sensory processing issues, social/emotional work/play, language acquisition?????  Well, probably NOT...but now you do, and YOU have so much to pass on...so much to offer out to others NEW to this journey!!!  AH-HA...YOU have grace yourselves to give back!!!  My heart...to always BE a GRACE-GIVER!!!  I SEE it in so many of you...YOUR faces, YOUR hearts, YOUR responses, YOUR interactions with your cherubs!!!  For those of you I cannot SEE...I trust that as you journey...you too are able to persist in the amazing pursuit of this GRACE RACE!!!  YOU are in the RACE...let's FINISH IT WELL!!!  YOUR CHERUBS are counting on YOU!!!  Giving Grace right back to you...~DK

Looking Forward with Hearts Full of GRACE!!!

January 2, 2012...HAPPY, SUPER BLESSED NEW YEAR TO ALL of YOU!!!!  It has been quite awhile since I have written to you as my faithful parenting partners, but you KNOW I carry you in my heart, as I continue on this JOURNEY with you in SPIRIT!!!  I am sure many of you are "re-framing your goals" for 2012, and my HOPE to share with you today is, DO NOT FORGET THE MOST IMPORTANT INGREDIENT....GRACE!!  Many of us, have had some less than favorable reflections on our parenting in 2011, BUT no worries...as U-Turns are available today!!!  I was studying the principles of GRACE in our parenting, and focusing in on how much we need if we are going to be the conduits for our children's individual GREATNESS!!!  As I looked into these principles..the first that popped for me were those of, "DO WE KNOW WHAT OUR CHILDREN NEED???"  YES, isn't this refreshing for your heart in this moment??  All the things we've spent time on are among the FIRST as we parent with grace!!!  So, for those of you that are in the GAME...GOOD FOR YOU, and for those of you just tuning in...no worries in the least...this is for ALL parents...at any stage in your parenting journey!!  So, once we've examined their individual needs...we need to sift them back through the "self-focused sifter" to ensure these are truly their needs NOT our own as their parents.  OUCH...I know...I get it...but it is a a life of transformation when we engage as conscious parents from the heart.  Ok...when you have it sifted..it is time to move onward, to the question of, "HOW will me meet their needs, and drive them up their developmental ladders toward greatness?"  This can become a bit tricky, as we can "war" within ourselves about how much time to spend doing the things they LOVE!  Try not to focus on TIME, as you know it needs to BE your BEST friend...but try to focus in on the relationship between you, and your child and what he/she LOVES!!  Look at it from the perspective, "Am I dong this out of obligation as a parent, or am I TOTALLY invested in SEEING why my child LOVES this so much?"  It is there that you will find your ANSWERS!!!  You will see through eyes of grace, as no matter what you do in those moments you ONLY see your child at his/her HAPPIEST!!!  They gaze at you in disbelief, that YOU would truly JOIN in with a reckless abandonment that speaks true grace for their quirks, inabilities, disabilities, learning, perceiving, processing, and social differences...Whatever your cherub is struggling with today, VANISHES in the relationship of grace!!! With your new EYES you will be better equipped to HOLD the higher vision for them, which will cause their EQ (emotional quotient) to drive their IQs upward!  You see, within this very first principle your biggest key is discovered, and fully ready to be possessed.  When we the take time to KNOW each others need, and determine to meet and exceed it for higher purposes...it is there where grace abounds!  OUR CHERUBS know this principle, and truth in the depths of their hearts...it is us as parents that need to reflect, refresh, and renew our passion and vision for their lives!  So, as we begin a NEW year...I encourage you to focus on this first principle, and EXPECT miracles, expect progress, and ENJOY your cherub in RICH relationship that they were designed to be in with YOU!!!  Joining the GRACE TRAIN with each of you....ALL ABOARD...Lets GO..we are on this journey for their GREATNESS!!!! ~As I reflect on all that I am thankful for...I THANK God for being a part of your lives and parenting journey!!!~ With a heart full of grace, DanaKae

Joy & Pain...Dance!!!

January 8, 2012 ~ Great Sunday afternoon to all of you!!!  I hope you all have had a life-giving, thanks living week!!!  As I write to you today, I reflect upon my own week of "firsts" in 2012!!  I would LOVE to share that it was all perfect, but that would not be the truth...and we all know that we need more truth wrapped in love and grace for this parenting journey, than EVER BEFORE!!!  So, upon reflection, I decided to MAKE peace, and accept that my JOY and PAIN can share the same dance, but even more than that...they can create a NEW dance that will bring forth healing to others!  In my week of "firsts," something quite amazing transpired as I re-entered work...after being gone from my Early Intervention cherubs since mid-November....several of them called my name to gain my attention, as they desired to share about their adventures with all their new words, gestures, and facial expressions!!!  I kept hearing, "DanaKae, D..Ka, or DD..Ka, and for a moment I pondered who am I to these little ones that they desire to SHARE so much???  In a moment, GRACE poured all over and around me...these loving cherubs were saying THANK YOU....thank you for GIVING to us...for TEACHING, for LAUGHING, for DISCIPLINING....for allowing TIME to be your BEST FRIEND?????  Oh...the JOY that danced as they moved, laughed, and shared....and then I saw it...a true "joy dance" one that embraces the truth in the sacrifice, in the offering of life....Could I honestly hold this much JOY???  All of a sudden my heart began giving THANKS back to them...joining in their new accomplishments, validating their new words, thoughts, and ideas!  TO ALL OF YOU PARENTS that give me the OPPORTUNITY to be a part of your cherub's lives....DEEP GRATITUDE!!!!  So, when did the pain come in?  When did I need to shift and make peace that JOY and PAIN can dance, and out of their relationship emerges PROGRESS, NEW LIFE, NEW LOVE, and overall NEWNESS??  Oh, it was an Ah-ha moment of deep conviction...of 2012 visiting me to face the new challenges for all of the cherubs working/struggling up their developmental ladders!!!  YES...key words, "struggling/working," as we must be DOERS in this thankful work we are called to as parents, or professionals working with all cherubs!!!  We must persevere in the struggles, the pain, because the JOY waits...or the JOY dances in the midst...if we ALLOW IT!!!  We cannot face our children's struggles in FEAR...we will be found bowing to the pain, and unfortunately become immobilized, and our cherubs will dysregulate, become fearful, negative, behaviorally "off" to SHOW us their needs...and most importantly they will not be free to dance to their developmental timing!!  Time to re-focus, revisit what works for each child, practice scaffolding, and reassuring their hearts, minds, and bodies that they are still moving forward! REMEMBER:  We must follow their NEEDS!!! What an amazing combination, to NOW grab the struggle and move in it with a new JOY...a JOY that ushers in confidence, and belief that we are "CAN DO" parents, and professionals with our cherubs!!!  SO...let's dance into our week, with great expectations of JOY in our struggles...JOY in our successes...Joy in our pain....JOY in the whole of living, as we teach, and rear such amazing children!!!  SENDING YOU LOVE in your dance!!!  ~DanaKae

"Are You LOVING & CLINGING?"

Oct. 3, 2011...The beginning of a NEW week brings me to a heart reflection that I thought I would share with all my parenting partners!!!  Do you LOVE and CLING to your relationship with your cherubs?  If not, do you KNOW what you are MISSING?  When we look at the meaning of love; having a deep affection for, and the meaning of cling; to hold tightly to, with steadfastness...we may find ourselves wondering if we are still relating in this powerful parenting mode.  My heart tonight turns towards those of you who are struggling with cherubs that are either having developmental issues, or true behavioral challenges that are causing you to suffer lack in these areas of "heart" health!!!  As parents, we also travel our own developmental journeys, so it is only right to address issues that might be causing us to stumble.  I think if we were to all have an open chat, we would discover that the LOVING aspect remains constant, but the "clinging" can become a bit more challenging!!!  One of the reasons that I have found this to be true, is the fact that our EXPECTATIONS are often skewed toward our own hopes and dreams.  We can often struggle when our cherub comes to join our family...and we find that we are called to WAIT on his/her development, or that we will have to intervene in ways we had never fathomed.  For those of you who are already in "GO" mode...you KNOW exactly what I am talking about...and those of you finding yourself in the midst of this journey, but have not switched to "Go," I HOPE you will take great heart in the reflections that follow....True "developmental" clinging requires a shift in one's thinking and planning!!!  This type of clinging takes on a new meaning that intertwines tremendous heart, tenacious heart, and tender heart, with NEW HOPE!  Instead of finding ourselves feeling sorry for our cherubs, or trying to make their lives easier by our perception...it is a time to see the individual potential in each child, raise the bar of hope, and make a plan to scaffold the ladder for the child to climb.  It is a new way of seeing them FLY, before they have ever sprouted wings!!  When children begin to present with any type of "special" need, we must begin to PUSH...not in a hasty or harsh way, but in a positive, affective way to ENGAGE their hearts, minds, and bodies!!  When our cherub's are INTERESTED...they come to learn, to try, to push themselves, and ultimately BELIEVE that they CAN DO IT!!!  Can your heart feel it??  We as parents do not have to MISS out on CLINGING...we can choose to hold the vision for our cherub, while orchestrating their next steps to meet each developing need.  So, why keep LOVING and CLINGING?  Well, LOVING...that one is easy....but CLINGING...it is PIVOTAL as NO CHERUB ever wants to feel LET GO OF...they all want to KNOW that you are there as their loving parent holding onto hope for their greatest development, while appropriately pushing them forward and upward.  Loving and Clinging to each of you for your MOST positive parenting journey!!  ~DK

Are You Going?

Good Sunday Morning to ALL of you!!!  Have you LOST HOPE in my ability to ever post again???  Well, here I am...still in the midst of a TEACHING season of my life!!!  It is true, I am LOVING the return to my ROOTS of teaching Early Intervention, but am MISSING my connection with SO MANY of YOU as PARENTING PARTNERS!!!  So, today...I woke up and was stirred onward to write about "GOING!"  When we read such a simplistic word, we don't think of grabbing its' actual definition so I will provide that for you:  Verb: Move from one place or point to another; travel.  Noun: An attempt or trial at something: "give it a go". As I was praying about reconnecting with all of you...a chorus of one of my favorite songs ran through my head; "I'll GO where YOU send ME," which goes on to say..."And I'll try, I'll try to touch the world."  So GO???  Where are we going as parents in our relationships with our CHERUBS!!!  Does it really matter??  Are we trying to just make it through life?  Well....I HOPE NOT!!!  Our cherubs...tiny, little, medium, big...are all here to teach us how to, "Go for it," as a parent..to reach into their lives and receive what they have for us, while giving back to them what we have GROWN to know as important truths to living!!!  We have the most awesome privilege if we choose to "go," to be a part of orchestrating a life that will hopefully, give back MORE to the coming generations!!  Sometimes, we as parents get stalled out...and we are no longer going toward our cherub's goals...we can lose sight of who they were created to become..because...WE DO NOT GO INTO RELATIONSHIP with THEM!!!  We try to control, or we let them GO without boundaries, and validation for what they love, and we suddenly find ourselves disconnected!  WHY the disconnect???  FANTASTIC question for ALL of us to reflect upon!!!  I am positive that there are so many reasons...we would not be able to write them all down, as often these pitfalls have leaked in from our OLD stories.  But, the one I choose to "Go" with today is the principle of teaching self-worth!!  As parents, we can often find common interests with our cherub's that are more naturally "like" us, but when we hit some developmental bumps, and the cherub is interested in something we find a challenge, boring, ridiculous....etc...we STOP!!!  It is not always EASY to perceive, but you will SEE it as your child MOVES away from you and finds "someone who is interested," or finds more "ALONE" time because a preferred parent has "stopped" joining!!!  OH DEAR...I hope this is grabbing some of your hearts!!!  It grabs MINE...because to GO into relationship with another person requires self-sacrifice...because we SEE and HOPE for the BEST in and out of the person we are connecting to!!  Our cherubs...being "younger," are often dismissed...when WE do not feel like GOING any further!!!  So, ask yourself one or some of these questions?  Do I sacrifice to STAY in relationship with my cherub??  Do I feel or perceive forward momentum in our ever-changing relationship??  Do I feel sometimes, because of a cherub's "special need," that a "going" relationship is impossible?  Have I labeled my child a "teen," so I have stopped "going" into his/her world to relate??  How about a College age cherub??  Do I BELIEVE that "going" into his/her relationship is an infringement on privacy?  Well, these are just a few questions we should be asking ourselves, and HONESTLY answering!!  Relationships with our cherubs are of the UTMOST importance!!  Wherever your cherub is at in his/her developmental journey...I hope you will give some of these heart thoughts "a go," today!!!  I've learned that GOING...whether it is going deeper, going forward, going onward, going inward, going upward, or even going sideways...is all the POWER of GO in creating solid relationships with our cherubs!!!  I choose not to go backwards!!  So join with me today...HAVE FUN and get up and "go" with your cherub!!!  THANKS for listening in, on a heart focused on GOING with each of you on your parenting journey!!!  Hoping to stay connected~  DK